First and Last
by ironbutterfly25
Summary: William Herondale was the first man she loved and he would be until the very end of time. He was her first and her last. Sort of a "Dirty Sexy Library Scene" for Will and Tess.


**First and Last**

**Summary:** William Herondale was the first man she loved and he would be until the very end of time. He was _her first_ and _her last_. Sort of a "Dirty Sexy Library Scene" for Will and Tess.

* * *

The heavy mahogany door of the library slammed shut so loud, the room felt like it was vibrating or maybe it only felt that way because Theresa 'Tessa' Gray couldn't stop her fingers, her hands, her whole body from trembling. Her bright gray eyes scanned the empty library, desperately looking for anything that she could focus her attention on. She knew the books could put her mind off of the improper scene she had just witnessed. The books were her only salvation like always. They could save her… They should be able to or else she couldn't bear to imagine what she would do if she failed to get rid of the image of William Herondale with… with _that woman_.

Tessa closed her eyes tightly for a good minute as she took deep measured breaths. It was only at that time she was able to feel the strain her adrenaline-filled run brought upon her. With one final deep breath, she opened her eyes, her fingers were clutching on her thick and silky skirts. As her head slowly cleared, she was able to get rid of the buzzing her blood pounding into her ears had caused. She registered the faint sound of the music coming from the grand ballroom of the Institute where the Christmas gathering was being held at the moment. She released a sigh before walking towards a random bookshelf. Her thoughts were slowly patching together like pieces of a puzzle. Her eyes wandered from one title of a book to another. Even as her thoughts started to organize, her heart was still beating so loudly and so fast against her ribcage that it almost seemed like it was beating right next to her ears.

An image of Will looking at her across the dance floor entered her mind. Oh how handsome he looked tonight in that dark suit. She couldn't help it but to wonder if there would be any moment where in he would fail to look breathtakingly beautiful. She caught his gaze several times a while ago and for each time, he turned away from her abruptly and left the vicinity of her vision before she could even protest. She was fine for most of the evening until her fiancé, James Carstairs, had to attend to some relatives and some more people he knew as a child when he was still living in Shanghai. It was great knowing more people who knew her beloved fiancé but she couldn't stop herself from searching for the figure of that strong yet very broken dark haired man within the confines of the spacious room. When she excused herself to unconsciously look for Will, she almost immediately found him. He was not alone though. He was lurking behind one of the pillars in the room. The shadows were friendly enough to keep whatever improper things he would want to do from others' eyes. He was there… almost unrecognizable and he was kissing Tatiana Lightwood, the girl who wanted to marry him since she was a little girl. She was married now though to some notable shadowhunter Tessa couldn't really bring herself to actually remember.

The way Tatiana melted in Will's strong arms made Tessa feel sick in her stomach. His hands were gripping her bare upper arms tightly while her gloved fingers held onto the front of his shirt with such intensity that it looked like she was going to rip his clothes to shreds. The beautifully jeweled pins that were once holding the girl's light caramel-colored hair had mysteriously disappeared while the two kissed. Tessa found the strength to run away the moment Will placed an inch distance between his face and Tatiana's.

A gasp of shock escaped the warlock's lips as she didn't fail to feel an unmistakable painful twisting in her chest as she recalled that scene.

* * *

"Tessa?"

She froze immediately on the spot as if she was caught doing something terribly wrong. Her skin prickled in a delicious way when his velvety voice sank into her very bones. The numbing buzz in her ears was back but for some reason she could still clearly hear the sound of his footsteps coming closer and closer towards her location. There was a light sweet smell coming off of him. He smelled of sweet perfume and wine. It was intoxicating.

"Do you want this book?"

Tessa jumped as Will's hand pressed slightly on top of her right hand. She then realized that her right arm was still stretched out reaching for no particular book at all. She brought her head up wanting to know what book she unconsciously picked. Her eyes rested on Will's large hand which was easily engulfing her own. His closeness and warmth made her body tingle with unspoken desire and for the second time that night, her thoughts were scattered again.

"N-No…"

Will dropped his hand and Tessa could almost feel her own heart dropping as she lost physical contact with him. She retracted her arm and slowly turned to face him. He was not looking at her so she took the chance to take him in. His messy dark hair. His burning bright blue eyes. His perfect nose. His thick arching eyebrows. She watched as his long eyelashes casted small shadows over his slightly tanned cheeks whenever he blinked. She noticed that he was now only wearing his plain white undershirt and trousers.

"Are you… Are you going to bed, Will?" Her voice sounded very soft even to herself but she was desperate to talk to him even just for a little while. He looked at her. And she immediately saw it. That almost impenetrable wall he always used to guard his feelings with. It hurt so much knowing he had already put his guard down almost completely to others but she noticed that he exclusively built a special wall reserved for her. To keep her away. To keep her by Jem's side. To keep her from hurting anyone else besides himself.

"I was. But I thought I can read a book before going to sleep… It is very unusual. But I found myself quite intoxicated so early tonight. I believe Charlotte will not be pleased if she finds me sleeping on my own vomit again in the morning." He grinned at Tessa playfully but his grin didn't quite reach his eyes. He took a few steps back and Tessa felt herself stop breathing at the sight of him obviously distancing himself from her. "I'll leave you to your own devices now, Tessa. Good night." He turned his back to her before she could utter another word and started to walk towards the door.

"Are you avoiding me, Mr. Herondale?" Even though she was hurting, Tessa thought that she could bear the pain as long as she could keep him in the room for a few more minutes. She saw his shoulders stiffen ever so slightly and he stopped walking. To her surprise, he turned to look at her. And her heart bled as she saw his feelings unguarded in those beautiful eyes of his.

"I dare say that you are already aware of the answer to your own question, Miss Gray." Despite his cold and harsh tone, his eyes remained soft. And pain combined with so much longing was being reflected so clearly on them.

"Will… Don't… Please don't." Tessa watched as his eyes widen a little in a way that made him look surprised but it didn't last for a few seconds. His jaw tightened and he looked at her with a trace of anger in his eyes. She resisted the urge to take a step back away from the imposing aura that emanated so suddenly from him.

"Don't what, my dear Tessa? Y-You…" He gestured a hand towards her before he decided to just run it through his unruly dark locks of hair out of pent up frustration. "You can't say that you don't want me to distance myself from you, Tessa… You just can't. You… You can't do this to me." She felt something cold running along her left cheek and it took a few seconds for her to realize that she was crying. _She didn't want to lose Will_. But she was just being selfish if she would say that. She loved him but she couldn't even say it. She couldn't even let him know without hurting herself, Will, and Jem in the process.

She quickly brought her hands up to wipe her tears away. She tried her best to regain her composure and to prevent herself from spilling more tears. Will had already took a few steps closer to her. She could see that he was greatly alarmed by her tears. "I… Will… I just thought that maybe we… we can be friends." She felt his sharp intake of breath as if someone had just delivered a hard blow on him and she quickly wanted to take her words back. It was really a bad idea to talk to him like this and suggest such an arrangement to him. What was she thinking?

"No, Tessa…" Her head snapped up to look at him. He was looking at her with pleading eyes. "I… I have to distance myself from you. I have to forget these feelings. I have to forget that I love you. I need to…" He looked away and she took a huge step closer to him before she knew it.

"So it's in order to kiss a married woman behind pillars so you could forget me…" She didn't mean to say it out loud. She strongly believed that it was just her talking inside her head. She was jealous. She would never admit it verbally but she knew in her heart she didn't like what she had witnessed. Will was looking at her with wide blue eyes. The windows to his soul were so wide, she felt like an innocent lost boy was gazing at her.

"You saw?" Tessa was fascinated by the way his Adam's apple moved as he swallowed but she was more concerned by the fact that she had just voiced out something she shouldn't be saying. There was another painful twisting in her chest and it was because Will had just confirmed that it really did happen. He and Tatiana kissing passionately behind that thick pillar. That it was not just some very cruel hallucination. Her heart sank deeper if that was even possible. Suddenly she felt a strong feeling of irritation. At Will or at herself she couldn't really tell.

"Yes and I must say that was very improper of you. I cannot believe you would actually do something so… s-so… scandalous!" She couldn't even put it into words well enough. "She is a married woman, Will. _Married!_ What if her husband caught you? And I thought you said you didn't like her at all!" Will just watched her with eyes full of adoration and wonder.

"She kissed me, Tessa. She did… And I… I did reciprocate eventually." At least he didn't try to deny it. His face suddenly became serious and solemn once again. "But that doesn't have anything to do about what we were discussing." An ear-splitting silence filled the room and Tessa could actually feel herself suffocating under all the heavy tension that settled upon them. "I told you… I have to forget you…" He turned away from her. This time there was more purpose in his steps.

"Will, don't go…" She murmured softly and weakly but she knew he could hear her; he just refused to acknowledge her demand. She watched him go helplessly. "Don't make yourself forget about me!" She placed a hand right above her heart and her mouth. All of the words that were slipping out of her lips should have been left unsaid. But she noticed that she had been breaching many unspoken boundaries that night and she was starting not to care at all. "I… I want you to s-stay…" Her voice broke but she was thankful that her tears refused to fall that time.

He turned back to her so fast that he seemed like a blur and in a few long strides, he was right against her. He stole the breath right out of her lungs in a knee-buckling kiss. He cradled her face firmly into his rough yet warm hands and kissed her deeper. Tessa didn't know what she should exactly do but she was already kissing him back. It was just her immediate reaction to Will whenever he kissed her. She didn't need to think. Her body responded to him automatically every single time. As he kissed her, she felt something unlocking inside of her being and suddenly she felt light. She felt free. He had always been the air she needed.

He let her breathe for a moment as he took his time to gaze at her beautiful face. She was flushed. Her brown locks were starting to stick onto her neck and face. She noticed how heavy he was breathing and how his eyes looked so much darker than before. She ached for him to kiss her again. His fingers caressed the side of her face lovingly and she felt shivers run down her spine because of his gentle touch. "Will…" She whispered as her eyes closed when he placed a feather-light kiss on her right temple. She felt the little hairs at the back of her neck stood as his fingers threaded into her hair sensually. She pressed herself closer to him as she felt him slowly release her hair free from the beautiful pins adorning it. She opened her eyes to look at him after he managed to pull the last one out and her soft hair cascaded down her back beautifully. He was looking at her with unmistakably pure love. She felt breathless seeing him like this. Seeing how much he loved her.

"Kiss me, Will…" His oceanic blue eyes seemed to search her eyes for a moment. She wondered what he was looking for and she wanted to know what it was but he was kissing her again. At that moment, she realized she didn't really care much. Her arms wound tightly around his neck as his arms snaked around her small frame. His right arm grabbed her by the waist and then he was lifting her off of her feet effortlessly. She let out a soft gasp when she felt him moving and she shamelessly let out a loud one when he pressed her up against one of the bookshelves.

She almost stopped breathing at that moment. She had never been this close to him without any influence of a magical drink. She could feel the hardness of his well-built body against her soft curves. She realized he had no intention of putting her back on her unsteady feet so she moved her legs to look for something to anchor herself with. She found out that the heavy layers of her ball dress would not make that possible at all. She groaned in frustration as Will forced her head back with his hungry kisses. She parted her lips for him and felt her stomach hollowing in excitement as his tongue invaded the sweet space provided for it. She tasted the sweet wine they had been serving the guests all through the night on him and she knew she could just drown herself in the taste of it. Will grabbed onto her skirts and hoisted her up a little bit more. She felt the hard wood digging into her back and it was almost painful and yet she welcomed the feeling.

Tessa gripped his black hair when he started to hike her skirts up higher… higher… and _higher_… until he was able to touch her bare knee with his burning hot hand. She actually shivered at the contact. He guided her leg to wrap itself around his waist and she immediately moved the other one to join its partner, trapping him in her sweet warm embrace.

His mouth soon left hers and her spine tingled with each wet kiss he planted on the skin of her throat and chest. She was indulging herself in his every kiss and touch when he suddenly stopped forcing Tessa to open her eyes and to gaze at him. She found him looking at the jade pendant hanging right on top of her cleavage. His hot breath brushing on her sensitive skin and all she wanted was for him to keep on touching her... kissing her. But she knew exactly what he was thinking at the moment. "Will…" She placed her left hand right on top of his right hand that was resting on her thigh. She swallowed before she leaned down and captured his lips in a deep kiss at the same time she guided his hand higher on her smooth thigh. He drew in a breath as his hand came into contact with her undergarments. He moved away from her again in order to look into her eyes.

"Tess…" He pressed his forehead against hers. "This… This is…" Her hands found the buttons of his shirt and she slowly undid them one by one with surprisingly quite steady hands. She wanted him... needed him. And she couldn't imagine him stopping and leaving her aching desperately for something she was not entirely sure of but knew he could give to her.

"Put your hands on me, Will… Please..." His left hand that had been resting on her waist dared to move further up to the underside of her covered breast. He felt her take in a breath as he placed his hand right on her full breast, putting pressure experimentally. She watched his sweat rolled down the side of his handsome face down to the beautiful curve of his neck. Her eyes drank in the sight of the black and silver white runes curling all over his newly exposed skin. He brought his head up to kiss her again.

Tessa managed to make Will place her back on the floor and before he knew what was exactly happening, she broke their intimate kiss and turned her back to him. He watched her shoulders move as she took deep breaths to steady herself. Her hands were trembling as she gathered her thick dark brown hair to one side. Will understood what she wanted. He pressed her back against his chest and kissed the back of her head. His fingers moved shakily over the pearl buttons securing the top layer of her beautiful royal blue dress. He placed a tender kiss on her naked shoulder the moment he pushed the last button out and then he gently slid the heavy dress off of her body.

Tessa gasped as the cool air assaulted her thinly covered skin. She could barely breathe steadily and for a moment she was afraid that she might just stop breathing due to the intensity of their passion. Her tightly closed corset didn't help her breathe normally at all. Will wrapped his arms around her frame and leaned down to trail kisses at the crook of her neck. His hands run over the smooth-ridged texture of her corset and soon enough he was tugging patiently on the strings. Tessa was biting down on her lower lip so hard that she soon tasted her own blood.

She greedily inhaled huge mouthfuls of air as she felt the corset loosening deliciously with each measured tug. The stubborn garment soon joined her grand ball dress on the carpeted floor.

"Tess... _My Tess_..."

She closed her eyes as she leaned back to him. His arms wound around her tightly in an almost crushing embrace but somehow she wanted him to hold her tighter and never let her go. He placed a tender kiss right on her right shoulder and she curled onto his body. Her knees threatened to give away with each sweet second that passed them by. His very capable hands skimmed over her body. She flushed more as she listened to the little noises of contentment escaping her own throat with each of his touch. Tessa craned her neck to bring down Will into a kiss. A loud moan escaped her swollen lips when she felt his warm hands cupping her barely covered breasts. A groan slipped past his lips making that ball of fire in her lower stomach burn brighter. He grasped onto her thin camisole and petticoat. Will then grabbed her by the waist and she squealed as he hurriedly brought her over to one of the tables in the library.

The surface of the table was cold but she could barely feel it even after Will slipped her camisole off of her burning skin…

* * *

Jem scanned the different faces that filled the ballroom desperately looking for that familiar face. He managed to spot Tatiana with Gideon and Gabriel and it was pretty obvious that she cried considering the slight redness surrounding her pretty green eyes. He couldn't help it but to wonder more where his _parabatai_ had gone off to.

* * *

"A-Ah!... W-Will…" Tessa gasped and moaned as the man she loved sink into her warm tightness deeper and deeper with each thrust. There was still a dull sting inside her that reminded her of her lost maidenhood but the pleasure from the completeness Will was giving her made that little pain disintegrate into nothingness. Her hands tried to find purchase on his strong arms but she could hardly get a grip on him because of the sweat that had accumulated on their skin during their vigorous activity.

It was almost too much for her and yet she seemed to be hurting for more at the same time. The feeling was simply unexplainable. It was more than the union of two bodies. Tessa could actually feel how much more she was joined with Will. She couldn't feel nor tell anymore where she began and where he ended. She arched her back when he brushed against that sweet spot that made her toes inevitably curl. Her body curved into a beautiful bow as she was blinded with fulfilling lightness. Will thrusted deep into her and leaned down to kiss her chest as Tessa clung onto him bonelessly.

He knew he couldn't make it last any longer anymore. He buried his face at the crook of her neck. Her legs wrapped themselves tighter around his frantically moving hips. She just felt so heavenly good around him. Having her made his mind go blank and numb and all he could do was feel… Feel her. She was crying his name out again and then she tightened around him so tight he couldn't stop himself from finally letting go. The feeling was overwhelming. He felt drained and weak but then he knew he never felt more complete before. He collapsed on top of her on the sofa inside the library. She held him closely to her chest and placed a tender kiss on the top of his brow. They lay there trying to catch their breaths. Tessa could already feel herself slipping into a much needed sleep and all she could hope for was for Will to be the first person she sees once she opens her eyes again. She didn't know he was hoping for the same thing.

* * *

"I saw Master Will enter the library an hour ago…" Soft brown eyes scrutinize the ever quiet-looking grand library of the London Institute. Sophie moved in order to place a fallen lamp, a book, and a few pieces of paper from the floor back onto a table. "It appears he is not here anymore, Master Jem." She sounded disappointed of not being able to aid Jem completely in his search for his blood brother.

"He is probably out drinking some cheap liquor in a non-existent brothel. That sounds like something our dear Will would do at a time like this, doesn't it Sophie?" Jem flashed the maid servant a kind smile. She returned it without hesitation. "It has been a long night. Good night, Sophie. See you tomorrow at breakfast," Jem turned away from the library.

"Goodnight, Master Jem." Sophie called back before she resumed on her final tasks for the evening.

* * *

"You will always come first in my heart, Will…" He watched as Tessa's soft and swollen red lips moved when those words escaped her lips. Her gray eyes looked brighter and clearer at the moment. She looked ethereal to him. She was his angel. He smiled and kissed her, pulling her naked body closer to his. She curled contentedly in the protection of his warmth. The covers of her bed lay tangled in their sweaty limbs.

"I love you, Tess…" He whispered sweetly in her ear and butterflies danced merrily in her stomach.

"And I you, Will" she said against his lips as she pressed herself suggestively against him. There was no more pretending. There was no use hiding it anymore. Will was the first man she loved and he would be until the very end of time. He was her first and her last.

His piercing blue eyes gazed at the jade pendant hanging lifelessly on her neck. He felt a constricting feeling in his throat but it quickly vanished when Tessa hovered above him enticingly. Her small delicate hand sought his and there was an adorable blush across her cheeks as she pressed his hand on her sensitive breast. He smiled at her as he brought her against him before flipping their positions. He gazed at her. Her silky hair splayed over the damp white sheets. Her gray eyes looked at him with desire that made him groan. And as he dove down to capture her lips in a searing kiss, everything else seemed unthinkable. They could worry about everything else tomorrow but at that moment, only the both of them mattered.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Will and Tessa sexy time~ Ah, I really need a sexy time for this pairing in Clockwork Princess. A sexy time that will sexily transpire in the library. Yes, they just need to do it in the library!

Anyway thanks for reading and please do review. I know there are some mistakes but I hope it is good enough. Thank you!


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